Jimmy Carr, the UK’s stand-up king returns to Dubai
If there is indeed a Pantheon of comedy, then there must surely be an entire tier of it devoted to Jimmy Carr. Hes panel show royalty, a roast-master, a show host and prolific podcaster, writer, and professor of comedic science – but it all starts and ends with stand-up. His sold-out arena tours, and Netflix Specials are comic masterclasses, majoring in risky, edge-courting humour, scathing suplexes on plucky hecklers and dead-pan one-liners delivered with the clinical accuracy of a special forces’ sniper. And he’s bringing his latest tour, Laughs Funny, for a two-night stop in Dubai Opera this month.
To celebrate this eagerly awaited return to our city, we’ve put together some of our favourite pieces of Jimmy wisdom in joke clothing. Jimmy Carr, not just a comedy vehicle.
On families
“Here’s my advice for dealing with family trauma: accept the apology you’re never going to get and move on. There, I just saved you £25,000 in therapy. You’re welcome.”
On reading the signs
“My favourite road sign is ‘Falling Rocks. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying, ‘Random accidents ahead’; ‘Life’s a lottery, Be lucky.”
On the power of now
“The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time.”
On being offended
“Being offended on behalf of someone is [redacted]. It’s virtue signalling and it’s condescending (condescending means patronising, like when you talk down to someone – you understand, right?).”
On mastering your own fate
“You know what they call selfhelp books in the third world? Firewood.”
On the folly of marketing tautology
“In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s a pizza.”
Where: Dubai Opera
When: February 21 and February 22
Tickets: From Dhs250, dubai.platinumlist.net
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